He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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