On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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