just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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