I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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