Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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