??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
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One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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