i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize