Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My vagina is very pro this idea
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize