You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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