we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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