We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
this hospital has no fireball
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
