Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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