I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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