Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
