so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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