After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
