Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.