I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices