I'm eating all of the evidence.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma