jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We are two peas in an std pod
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.