She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
