he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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