Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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