I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
