dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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