Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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