if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.