garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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