she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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