Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
