I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
