i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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