Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
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I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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