what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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