Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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