I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize