spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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