I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize