I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
