just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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