can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
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You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"