I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.