is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.