I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
are you so shy because you have an std?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize