Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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