And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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