How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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