i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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