Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
