who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
