he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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