I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.