mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
