so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize