I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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